That's what I looked like when I first saw myself in the mirror the day after stem cell mobilization. Overnight, I gained 9 lbs! So much saline and various drugs had been pumped into me during mobilization that I swelled up like a balloon. I wanted to cry, but I was just too weak to shed even a few tears.
Cytoxan is the drug of choice for stem cell mobilization. From my various conversation and readings: Cytoxan kills both cancerous and healthy cells; it suppresses the immune system. It causes loss of appetite, feelings of nausea, weakness, a general feeling of unwell, hair loss, stomach discomfort - should I go on?
To top it all off, on Saturday I was to drink 2 liters of fluid (didn't and absolutely couldn't happen), start an antibiotic (thankfully, I got it in me prior to the start of the side effects), and try to walk 30 minutes (also didn't happen).
Needless to say, it was a very unpleasant weekend :-(
But Sunday was better than Saturday (thanks to 2 more drugs) and Monday is here and I'm better than I was on Sunday. I ate a little breakfast, had a cup of tea, and took a little walk with Mom. And I've lost all 9 lbs.
As mentally, physically, and spiritually strong as I believe I am, I must admit I'm a little scared. A week from today I'll have a Hickman line placed in my right chest and 2 weeks from today I'll have my first of 2 doses of Melphalan.
I have quite a journey ahead of me. I am grateful you are traveling with me.
You'll be okay, mom. We're all by your side through this whole thing. Love you and I am so proud of how strong you have been!
ReplyDeleteIt's okay to admit you are scared...who wouldn't be? We are about to celebrate EZ's one year mark post transplant. That will be you next summer! You are strong, determined and about to kick MM to the curb!!
ReplyDeleteWe've been thinking about you since last Friday and are glad to see that you're making progress. I hope it's not too trite to remind you that this is pain with a purpose, but we do want you to keep in mind that this is all towards a positive end. We're so impressed with your strength and attitude, and we're keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteAhh, yes I got some ginger beer to help with the nausea pre stem cell collection Cytoxan, and a day and a half later it was very nice! The day after nothing was staying down and I don't think I moved 30 mins in total the whole day. ;D
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